(Special thanks to a drunken varsity stroke seat for the title of and inspiration for this article- you're my hero, Travis!)

Unfortunately I'm not talking about a physical coxie zone here. There really is no mythical warm room with comfortable chairs with good lower lumbar support and ice cream and chocolate bars readily available - at least that I've ever found. (Can anyone out there hook me up?)

This article broaches the delicate but always amusing topic of coxie-crew relations.

There are basically two situations to be considered here: coxing the same sex or the opposite sex. The opposite sex is what you're probably all waiting for so I'll start with same-sex relations.

Now, same sex coxies can be advantageous in certain ways. Certainly it makes on-the-road sleeping arrangements easier and, generally speaking of course, there tends to be no sexual tension between crew members and their coxie to distract anyone from the sport at hand. Also, it has been argued (but not conclusively proven) that coxies of the same sex are better at motivating their crews. Personally I think sex is far less important than imagination, but this debate will probably continue until the end of rowing - which happens about seven minutes after the end of time. Anyway, I can't speak for men's crews feelings towards their male coxies, but I know that girl's crews tend to develop a "big sister" attitude to their coxies. They tend to be protective of her and slightly indulgent of personal quirks. Girls easily trust their coxies (if of course they don't routinely hit buoys or bridges), off as well as on the water, and off-water confidence sharing can lead to tighter on-the-water relations. (Again, I'm not sure if male rowers and coxes share personal problems over coffee after practice, but from what I've seen, I assume it's not, ah, exactly the same deal). The premise seems to be, If you take care of us, we'll take care of you.

And now, moving on to what is one of the least discussed but most problematic issue in coxing: opposite sex coxies and crews.

There's always a lot of discussion about it, with views ranging from "Don't ever get involved with one of your rowers" to my personal favourite, "I've never dated anyone who didn't row." (Anyone else actually like calloused, broken hands? Oh. Well. Stop looking at me like that!)

I suppose it's clear from the above paragraph where I stand on the Avoid at all costs/Attract at all costs equilibrium. Dating rowers, however, requires a good sense of balance. Some teams completely prohibit it; some just keep it quiet. Last week a rower told me a story about one cox at an undisclosed club who coxed an eight one summer; the ratio of guys in the boat she'd dated to guys she hadn't was six to two. Dating a rower does have benefits - you have a lot in common, you can share boathouse stories without having to explain why they're funny, and you don't have to defend the time you spend at rowing to jealous boys/girls. (And who can deny the magic appeal of Spandex?) However, as has been discussed extensively on coxie message boards, when relationships go awry, you're still spending a lot of time with someone you might not want to see every day. Dating people in your boat/at your club is risky business, but I'm not convinced that it can't work out.

I managed to get an inside opinion on this from the rower who inspired the article title. According to him, the Coxie Zone is where your current coxie stays - surrounded by barbed wire and a moat, if you will. As he so succinctly states, "No touch, no way!" But he bends and admits that he can see benefits to dating coxies and feels that coxies who aren't coxing you right now are fair game. Obviously there are no black and white guidelines for this kind of coxie-crew relations.

In opposite -sex boats, even if someone in the boat is involved with the coxie, the boat still tends to become protective of their cox, but in a different manner. One of the rowers in my boat used to date a guy who rows for a different school, and the entire boat got to meet him at regattas this fall. We were surprised when she came to practice one day and told us that he'd been beaten up outside a bar by another school's four - for hitting on their coxie.

Most crews don't take coxie protectionism quite that far, but do tend to get jealous of other guys paying attention to their coxie. I can't say too much about boy coxies/girl crews, but I know a girl coxie gets very fond of her boys, and I think it's the same for men coxing women. For a girl cox, her boys are the only men in her life who never let her down and will always take care of her; for the boys, she's the one girl who always laughs at their antics and applauds their accomplishments. Girls, I know for a fact, learn invaluable things about guys from coxing crews. And I think guys can learn a little more about the fairer (if you will) sex from spending so much time in the company of their coxie.

Cox-crew relations are at the heart of our sport - well, the sweep side anyway. Really, a coxy without a crew is just a sad small loudmouth getting weird looks for wearing a mike; and I think we all know why an eight without a cox is not a good idea. We need each other, we learn so much from each other, and we come to depend on each other, however complex the relationships may get. Rowers and coxies share a passion for the sport and it binds us together like nothing else. All my rowers, boys and girls, mean a lot to me, and I don't know what I'd do without them. Well, I do, but it involves me sitting on the dock, alone - and that's not where any coxie wants to be.



DyslexiaCox

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